Ugh...very tired lately. But on the plus no "slip ups" on smoking. Smoke free since Nov. 3! Think it was actually the second but started counting it as the third-but who's payin attention >.>; lol.

Anyways..lol. I've been extremely fatigued feeling lately, so I decided to see if it was related to not smoking. Found out that nicotine itself is a stimulant (don't care if i'm not spelling right btw-very tired x.x ) and since I've done away with a good chunk of it (was smoking 28 cigs. a day o.0-wtf) my body is adjusting to it's normal metabolism. Didn't see that coming at me..but I still refuse to smoke. Besides the fact I just can't afford it at all, it's a distructive habit in general!

That being said..turkey day is coming up. (Gobble gobble! hehe) And what that really translates to (at least for me) is -inlaws are coming up!...Not as exciting as just eatting till you sleep. But in any case I will tolerate my sister-in-laws husband...who is the grinch reincarnated, if I've never mentioned it before. And I don't throw that about lightly...picture Ebenezer Scrooge before he changed his life. Yeah that's my sister in law's husband seriously. The rest of the inlaws are bareable next to him.

Although there seems to be a pinicle about to be hit between him and my father in law, who's a pretty cool guy. I'm guessing the fireworks should start thanksgiving..fun times. (Thank god I don't live with the inlaws anymore-infact it came down to me telling timi (my husband) i would no longer stay at the inlaws (due to sister-in-laws husband) or with him if he continued to stay there. Yeah that's how bad he (sister-in-law's husband) is.

Anywaaays...no car still. No job yet. Probably wont be able to get christmas gifts for my two girls (which breaks my heart cuz that's how it was in my family-being poverty level there was usually no christmas >.< -not asking for simpathy just I know how much it sucks cause I had it that way too as a kid.) Very tired and feeling weak in general.

Don't mean so much to say this to say "Oh feel sorry for me" but more "I need to vent really bad" Was thinkin bout how this sounds to other people that maybe do read this. Sorry don't mean to say poor me...just needa let some stress out at least in this manner. Doesn't help my sleep has been nightmares almost every night...lol bad sleep does bad things to a person. /Sigh

Well now that all that's out of my system. I don't intend to give up on being a quitter (at smoking-hehe only way it sounds good to quit! ^^ ) And I will get a job, anything I could do would help. I feel at this point knowledge is my friend. So if I gather information before i leap I'll be more prepaired for the jump in itself ^^. I know that we'll be able to move into a nicer place-which would probably cost tons less then what they keep jumping ours to. I also know that when tax returns come it'll help a ton with getting a car or just in general. So there's hope yet.

Hoping some sleep, good sleep will help improve my mood :3 Happy turkey day to anyone still reading hehe.. ^^

P.S The journal I last posted got it's pic down Hope it goes back up cause I thought it was awesome!